Reflection & Negativity - 27th Jan. 2013

Leaving Hospital, Being Lazy, Physio, Physio & More Physio

It's the end of January, 2011, after a few days of walking around the hospital corridors, well I say walking, limping is more the appropriate description, I've had a couple of meetings with some physio's and I've been given my light exercises already to get things moving.  I am now able to leave my bed, the numbness has left my lower half but I'm still on a heavy dose of painkillers with the extra large bandage wrapped around my knee, as it would be for the foreseeable future.  Before I left I met Mr.Shah again, was given some clear instructions, the major one being that I made sure I did not bang or make any heavy contact on my knee as the knee cap along with the surrounding area was very sensitive and would be for a few months to come, due to the graft taken from the patellar aka knee cap.  Still to this day I haven't suffered a heavy bang to my knee although attempting to kneel down, as mentioned in a previous post, is still difficult, if not impossible on a hard surface.

Returning home felt good.  The hospital were great with me and the nurses brilliant but obviously being stuck in the hospital environment is something I don't think anybody enjoys, when you're the patient anyway.  At home though I couldn't do much either.  I was basically stuck in bed unless I went to the bathroom but going downstairs was a massive task, just showing how far I had to go before I recovered properly.  Obviously my Mum & Dad helped and my brother when he had to so I wasn't left alone but being stuck in the house 24/7 was a horrible feeling.  I had a doctors note to be off Uni for up to 6 weeks but opted for around a month, that's how bored I became plus the fact I would have 6 weeks worth of reading to catch up on which wasn't ideal.  Even after a week or two, I had exhausted every possible avenue in terms of keeping myself entertained, I'd played enough FIFA to last me a lifetime, Football Manager was now boring and watching daytime TV was it's usual tedious self.  As much as I tried to stay positive and believe that each day was a step closer to being back playing football, as that was my overall goal, sometimes I couldn't help but feel negative about things and about myself.  I always wondered if there was something I could have done differently to prevent it, did I do something wrong?

Some Say, The Guilty Party, Playing In Moulded Studs On Astroturf, Always A Talking Point.....

Since I actually sustained the injury, I've always wondered if something could have been done differently.  I'd never even suffered a muscle injury before while playing football, I'd never even had cramp despite playing football all my life so for something like this to happen it had a massive impact. Some said I overworked myself.  I used to go the gym 4/5 times a week while also playing football 4/5 times a week, which made me feel good, I felt fitter than ever and I was starting to get into my ideal shape but I refused to believe that overworking myself was the reason behind it.  Others said it was just bad luck, simply "the wrong turn at the wrong time" kind of thing, which I can believe to an extent.  The "scientific" method was that my height and weight coupled with power and speed on the turn were the effective reasons for this happening.  I had probably never been heavier than I was at the time but this was because I was more of an adult at 20 than I had ever been and with being a regular at the gym my muscular frame was healthy, not the opposite.  Despite being 15 stone 3, I still had pace & power which rivaled if not excelled 70%-75% of others.....

I doubt i'll ever find out the real reason behind it happening, after all, I asked my physio (who will feature later) and even he said there are no certain factors that can be found to prove why it actually happened.  The boots pictured above are the ones I suffered my injury in.  I never wore them after doing so, I'm quite superstitious like that.  They were my favourite boots for colour & comfort etc. but every time I looked at them I couldn't think of anything apart from that wet Tuesday night!

Co-codamol - Pain Reliever But Has It's Side Effects

Anyway, regular physio continued and I had to visit the hospital quite regularly as well as constantly doing my personal exercises at home, I was constantly breaking the pain barrier and co-codamol was my new friend, I only say friend rather than best friend because taking those made me feel unwell but I didn't really have much choice, I would be in constant pain in some way, shape or from for the next month or so whether I liked it or not.  Physio was frustrating, as I mentioned previously, I had to basically learn to walk again,  try to bend my leg and then straighten it too, which does sound simple but it was something of a struggle at this stage.  I was able to use a spin bike in the physio gym but not very convincingly, it was difficult to peddle and my knee along with my calf and hamstring were tight, hence the regular exercises I had to do while at home.  Something that would help the flexibility and movement of my knee though was the removal of the huge bandage and that will be the beginning of the next post.....